Giving Up Guilt for Lent – My Life-Changing Experiment

Lisa ODonovan
Apr 1
4 min read

So, we are coming up to that time of year again. You know, the one where some people give up chocolate, wine, or their favourite guilty pleasures for Lent. I know not everyone follows it, but many Christian denominations do. And even though I’m not a practicing Catholic anymore, I still like to take on a challenge. Most years, it’s been the usual suspects: chocolate or wine (let's be honest, the latter was never my most successful attempt!).

But a few years ago, I decided to do something radical. Not sugar, not caffeine, not even my late-night chocolate binge—I gave up GUILT.

And hands down, it was the most liberating thing I have ever done.

The Year Guilt Took Over My Life

Let’s rewind to 2021—the tail end of COVID, a year soaked in anxiety and uncertainty. In the middle of juggling life as a mom, wife, sister, and functioning human, I had a realization: my guilt levels were off the charts.

Guilt for not texting friends and family back within an hour (because apparently, the world might end if I didn’t!).
Guilt for not passing on enough “valuable knowledge” to my kids during homeschooling. (Side note: was teaching them the Jerusalema Dance enough?)
Guilt for having a night out with friends, after spending two solid years glued to my children.
Guilt for binge-watching Netflix instead of doing something “productive.”

After all, wasn’t I raised to think that putting others first, making sure everyone was happy, was a noble trait? That being a people-pleaser was almost a badge of honor?

But then it hit me:

This wasn’t a good thing. It was toxic. And it needed to go.

The Guilt-Free Lent Challenge

So, that year, when Lent rolled around, I had an epiphany:

If I can give up a toxin like sugar or wine for 40 days… then why not guilt?

I told my husband (who looked amused) and my kids (who weren’t even listening), but I was serious. Guilt was officially off the table.

And let me tell you—what happened next changed my life.

The Guilt Tin (aka My Genius Coping Mechanism)

You know how when you give up chocolate, suddenly it’s everywhere? Chocolate fountains, cake-loving friends, unexpected cravings?

Well, giving up guilt was exactly the same.

Every time I felt that familiar pang—Oh no, I forgot to text so-and-so back! I should have done more today! I feel bad for saying no! —I had to remind myself:

No, Lisa. Not today. You have given up guilt for Lent.

But, much like chocolate cravings, guilt cravings didn’t disappear overnight. So, I had to get creative.

When we were kids, my sisters and I had this (questionable) system for Lent. We weren’t actually eating sweets, but we never stopped collecting them. We stored every chocolate bar we received in an old biscuit tin, like guilt ridden sugar hoarders.

So, I thought: why not do the same with guilt?

Every guilty thought? Into the imaginary Guilt Tin it went.

Didn’t text back in time? Into the tin.
Declined an event invite? Into the tin.
Didn’t bake homemade cookies for the school fundraiser? Tin it is.
Didnt have that playdate back....Into the tin with you.

I didn’t let any of these thoughts marinate for too long.
I was becoming like Marie Kondo but for my emotions. Into the guilt tin they were all sentenced. Does this guilt spark joy? Nope? THEN INTO THE TIN YOU SHALL GO.
And just like that, I guilt-decluttered my life. It was surprisingly liberating. Sealed up. Stored away. And I told myself—"I’ll check back in after Lent and see if I still care." now my Guilt Tin was bulging at the seams…..after the first day, I just hoped it would hold.

Spoiler alert? I didn’t.

What Happened Next Shocked Me

As the weeks passed, something incredible happened.

I got stronger.
I set clearer boundaries.
I stopped over-apologizing.
I said no without explaining myself.

Did I feel selfish sometimes? Sure! But guess where that feeling went? Straight into the Guilt Tin.

For the first time in years, I took back my power. I was no longer a passenger in my own life, watching someone else drive me straight into a guilt spiral.

I had deleted 1,000 unnecessary browser tabs in my brain. And the headspace I gained? Absolutely priceless.

What’s Next? The People-Pleasing & Guilt Connection

Here’s what I realized:

My guilt wasn’t just guilt—it was directly linked to my need to please others.

And that, my friends, is an entirely different beast to tackle. But it’s exactly what I’ll be diving into next… stay tuned for my upcoming post on breaking free from people-pleasing for good!